CALIFORNIA!!!!!! here we come
A Day Without Ashlie Sembrot Is Like A Day Without Sunshine But The Kind Of Sunshine That Does Its Best Joan Crawford "Mommy Dearest" Impression For You After You've Spilled A Glass Of Water On Your Desk And Causes You To Cry A Little Bit
- Ashlie Sembrot*: Hello everyone!
- Blair Waldorf*: You're back! Are you feeling better?
- Ashlie Sembrot: Yes. I mean, I could have come in yesterday but I would have disgusted everybody. I was walking around like a snot faucet all day with tissues stuffed up my nose.
- Dan Humphrey*: Please, Ashlie. Go on. Give us more details.
- Ashlie Sembrot: Well... I'm pretty sure the Muccinex is giving me diarrhea.
- Blair Waldorf: [whispering] Ummm, Ashlie -- we have two new interns today. They're over there...
- Ashlie Sembrot: Whaaaaaat? Uhh. You guys! Has anyone seen Ashlie Sembrot? Anyone? Anyone at all? I hear she's not feeling well. Ashlie? Are you around? This is Eloise Butler looking for Ashlie Sembrot.
- Blair Waldorf: So do you want to meet them?
- Ashlie: Maybe later.
- *All names have been changed.
- My guesses on secret identities:
- Ashlie Diaheria = emily
- everybody else = people at work who dont have diheria
Never in my life I did think that i would hear about a race riot in KFC.
Never in my life did i think that this RAGE would also manifest itself as peaceful passive resistance movement for free chicken sandwiches.
I will never doubt the power of Oprah again
I got my palm read last week by a psychic. I wanted a tarot reading but, couldnt afford it. Luckily she informed me that money will never be a problem for me, but I guess that doesnt apply to my budget for psychic readings ( which i’ve already had to cut back on because of the recession).
Anyway, she also told me that i am “being surrounded by my enemies and people jealous of me” and that i should watch out for that. This warning came right after one of her kids spilled candle wax all over her skirt. While her accident did make me doubt her precognitive abilities, I have decided to enumerate my enemies here, so that when i am eliminated you know who to blame.
1. other people who go to city college
2. bin ladin
3. the fucking asshole who wont stop playing Greatful Dead directly under my floor
4. the MTA